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The Great British Limerick Book - Filthy limericks for (nearly) every town in the UK

by Lewis Williams

Surely it can’t be done. But it has been done. For the first time in the history of mankind someone has been dedicated enough and fool enough to write a filthy limerick for every town in the UK which, unlike Leeds or Devizes, doesn’t already have a classic filthy limerick to call its own.

 

From Land’s End to John o’ Groats, The Great British Limerick Book has a filthy limerick for your town, for your uncle’s town, for your cousin’s husband’s ex-wife’s town ... as long as it’s in the UK and as long as it isn’t one of those few places that are really impossible to find a rhyme for.

 

There are over 900 limericks in the book. A lot of them are hilarious. Most of them are very funny. All of them are filthy.

The Isle of Skye, Scotland

Guildford, Surrey

Ashington, Northumberland

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Nuneaton, Warwickshire

When I was on the Isle of Skye

I overdid the old Spanish fly

I had a stiff member

From the fourth of December

Till Friday the tenth of July

At McDonald's in Guildford in Surrey

I spilt coffee on my crotch in a scurry

I had to act quick

To cool down my dick

So I stuck it into my McFlurry

In Ashington there was a miner

Whose wife was a fashion designer

One night to his shock

She dressed him up as a cock

And herself as a six foot vagina

There was a young man from Nuneaton

Who really enjoyed being beaten

And squeezing his knackers

With a pair of nut crackers

And riding a bike with no seat on

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AVAILABLE NOW

320 pages  ISBN 978-0-9932472-0-0

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